I Love You The Most

13 years ago today I took this photo and posted it to social media. One of the many reasons I love social media is the memories that I shared, but that's a story for another day. 

Today I just want to reflect on us. 13 years ago you were off to your Bachelor party, I stayed behind praying you'd be safe. (Your friends can get wild.) I stayed behind and somewhere deep down I knew you'd be loyal. I love these things, yes both of these things, about you; your loyalty and your wild side. 

Even if you go poop when I'm taking a shower, grab my butt a lot, and are really loud on the phone. Even if your mountain bike accidents scare the living daylights out of me, even if you find my yarn collect annoying...

Because honestly, I love all these things about you, too. Just like our wedding vows, you still make me a better person. You have taught me so many things about life, trust, happiness, myself and more things than I can probably list. 

It's so awesome, how we're still doing this life thing together. I am so lucky to be able to reflect on the moments we've shared whether online or between just the two of us. 

In less than a month we get to celebrate 13 years of commitment, loyalty, growth, life and love together and that's so amazing to me.

I'll always remember the feeling of being your fiancé. I'll always remember how head-over-heels in love with you I was because today, I still am. I love you the most. 

Karlee

It's going to be a messy bun hair kind of day.

It was 6:15 and I was running out of the bathroom, hair soaked, half dressed because my black dress had wrinkles in it. Ryan was just waking up; his alarm set 30 minutes earlier than usual because he said he’d have coffee with me. As I was heading to toss my dress in the dryer I asked if he’d make me coffee and pull out salad fixings. What would I do without him? I told him I wouldn’t have time to have coffee because I needed to leave in 20 minutes.

I must’ve reset my alarm instead of hitting snooze. I was laying in bed half awake and my brain somehow knew I was supposed to be up and getting ready for my day. I rolled over, checked my phone and found I was in fact supposed to be up and getting ready for my day. It was 6:03. I had to leave for work in 32 minutes.

I tossed the covers off in a rush and immediately started a mental checklist of how I’d make this happen:

Don’t shave in the shower, you did that yesterday.

It’s going to be a messy bun hair day

Grab a granola bar to eat breakfast on the go

Don’t cut your veggies for your salad

You have salad dressing at work.

Thank God I picked out my outfit last night or I’d be wearing a mishmash of whatever I find first.

I was zipping around the kitchen, shoving veggies in a container and didn’t even realize Edee was hiding in the corner. She was so excited she tricked me and couldn’t stop giggling. She is a morning person through and through. I love her bubbly attitude. Even when it’s 6:20 AM and I’m not fully awake, she makes me smile.

She asked for her normal bowl of cereal and went to turn on TV. I had her ask Daddy because I woke up late and had to leave for work.

On my drive in I didn’t speed. I knew I didn’t have to because I left the driveway at 6:32; 3 minutes before I usually do. On my drive in I thought about something I told Ryan last night while hugging and kissing him on my way to bed. I told him early mornings are kind of lonely when it’s dark out and I don’t see him and Edee. He hugged me longer. What would I do without him?

Somehow the universe delivered something I really needed this morning. Someone up there in the starry sky is listening. I got to see both of my favorite people this morning. Even with 32 minutes to get ready for the day I left the house feeling more prepared than ever.

I made it to work with 10 minutes to spare.

I love how we do life together. Picking up where the other left off. Our bad days are offset by the other’s good day. We lean on each other. We lift one another when we’re down. We see each other.

He always does the things he doesn’t have to do. Without complaining he handles the mundane things, too. And when I mess up our morning coffee date, he doesn’t get mad at me.

Cheers to an extra cup of coffee & to my husband, for choosing us every day.

5 Things That Makes Our Partnership Stronger

My sister sent me a message the other day about wanting a partnership like Ryan and I have. I feel honored that she sees us in this light. We might actually have it together, considering someone aspires to be like us. Most of the time I am putting in all the effort to make it work that I forget it is working. Note to self: Remember that.

This conversation with her made me realize there’s 5 things that make our partnership stronger so I shared them with her and I want to share them with you too: patience, forgiveness, communication, compromise and number 5: Fun. The first 4 things come in handy most when we’re making big decisions and they are even more useful during a disagreement. Number 5 makes it all worthwhile.

I hope that maybe my thoughts on each will find you at the right time and that you’ll find them helpful. (Side note: I do not claim to be a professional relationship guru. Please remember, I have struggles in my own relationship and have much to learn.)

Here’s what I’ve learned about those 5 things.

Patience

You think you have until you don’t. In the heat of the moment is the worst time to try and work through a problem. When your emotions are high don’t even try to attempt to express your feelings. Pause. Wait. Think about the situation from different angles before you talk about it. This has always worked better for me.

You don’t want anyone to see you ugly cry, anyways.

Forgiveness

I’ve learned that forgive and forget really are a pair. If you really have forgiven, then it’s time to forget. If you can’t forget it then did you really forgive it? Asking and receiving forgiveness are not and should not be easy. It takes time, patience (see there’s the first key showing up again) and reflection to decide if something should be forgiven. Deep right? Let that one sink in.

Communication

Talk. Talk about it. Talk about everything. Ask questions. Answer questions. And remember to listen. Learn your partner’s language and teach them yours. Ryan and I have looked to books for these things. The 5 Love Languages is a great book. There’s also books filled with questions to ask each other. Even 7 years into our relationship we still sit down and read them. There’s so much to learn.

Compromise

Always try to meet in the middle. If you can’t meet in the middle then maybe try to swap favors. Ryan enjoys cooking and usually cooks. Even if I don’t enjoy cleaning (I mean, who does?), I return the favor and clean the kitchen. I do, however, enjoy a clean kitchen in the morning. So it’s worth it.

Another example: If I’ve handled bedtime routine 3 nights in a row, I ask for a night off and he is usually happy to take care of Edee before bedtime. It’s a process you know. Refer to my tip on communication to get you to the compromise.

Fun

None of this would be doable without mixing in a little bit of fun or a lot depending on the timing. Ryan is so great at the fun stuff! By fun stuff I am referring too surprise date nights at the new restaurant in town or even planned dates at your favorite coffee shop,because you know they love that place (and coffee). It’s sneaking in a make out session in the hallway. It’s sharing a blanket on the couch and watching a movie or 3 episodes of the newest Netflix Original. It’s brewing a cup of coffee for them before you make your cup. Get creative with it. These are the things we do that keep (or sometimes re-spark) the flame.

Again, I am no expert at these things. When I am emotional or stressed, I sometimes forget all of them. But, I return to number 1: patience, and the rest usually follow.

Keep Loving,

Karlee