5 Things That Makes Our Partnership Stronger

My sister sent me a message the other day about wanting a partnership like Ryan and I have. I feel honored that she sees us in this light. We might actually have it together, considering someone aspires to be like us. Most of the time I am putting in all the effort to make it work that I forget it is working. Note to self: Remember that.

This conversation with her made me realize there’s 5 things that make our partnership stronger so I shared them with her and I want to share them with you too: patience, forgiveness, communication, compromise and number 5: Fun. The first 4 things come in handy most when we’re making big decisions and they are even more useful during a disagreement. Number 5 makes it all worthwhile.

I hope that maybe my thoughts on each will find you at the right time and that you’ll find them helpful. (Side note: I do not claim to be a professional relationship guru. Please remember, I have struggles in my own relationship and have much to learn.)

Here’s what I’ve learned about those 5 things.

Patience

You think you have until you don’t. In the heat of the moment is the worst time to try and work through a problem. When your emotions are high don’t even try to attempt to express your feelings. Pause. Wait. Think about the situation from different angles before you talk about it. This has always worked better for me.

You don’t want anyone to see you ugly cry, anyways.

Forgiveness

I’ve learned that forgive and forget really are a pair. If you really have forgiven, then it’s time to forget. If you can’t forget it then did you really forgive it? Asking and receiving forgiveness are not and should not be easy. It takes time, patience (see there’s the first key showing up again) and reflection to decide if something should be forgiven. Deep right? Let that one sink in.

Communication

Talk. Talk about it. Talk about everything. Ask questions. Answer questions. And remember to listen. Learn your partner’s language and teach them yours. Ryan and I have looked to books for these things. The 5 Love Languages is a great book. There’s also books filled with questions to ask each other. Even 7 years into our relationship we still sit down and read them. There’s so much to learn.

Compromise

Always try to meet in the middle. If you can’t meet in the middle then maybe try to swap favors. Ryan enjoys cooking and usually cooks. Even if I don’t enjoy cleaning (I mean, who does?), I return the favor and clean the kitchen. I do, however, enjoy a clean kitchen in the morning. So it’s worth it.

Another example: If I’ve handled bedtime routine 3 nights in a row, I ask for a night off and he is usually happy to take care of Edee before bedtime. It’s a process you know. Refer to my tip on communication to get you to the compromise.

Fun

None of this would be doable without mixing in a little bit of fun or a lot depending on the timing. Ryan is so great at the fun stuff! By fun stuff I am referring too surprise date nights at the new restaurant in town or even planned dates at your favorite coffee shop,because you know they love that place (and coffee). It’s sneaking in a make out session in the hallway. It’s sharing a blanket on the couch and watching a movie or 3 episodes of the newest Netflix Original. It’s brewing a cup of coffee for them before you make your cup. Get creative with it. These are the things we do that keep (or sometimes re-spark) the flame.

Again, I am no expert at these things. When I am emotional or stressed, I sometimes forget all of them. But, I return to number 1: patience, and the rest usually follow.

Keep Loving,

Karlee