I Used to Love You, But I Don't Love You Anymore

Do you ever wonder if your toddler is purposely trying to think of things to make themselves cry more? I guess when you're down you're really down, right? I mean I've been there, done that. 

Does it ever feel like nothing you can do or say (except maybe give them a unicorn and candy store) will calm them?

If today, yesterday or even the day before your toddler threw a tantrum, screamed, cried, told you "I used to love you but I don't love you anymore": you're not alone. 

These might even sounds all to familiar. Maybe tantrums almost feel routine at this point and your toddler is in a phase of resisting you with every little ounce of their being. I remember those days too. I'm here to say I survived those days and you can too. The proof that I made it through means you can make it too. It does get better.

Today just happened to be one of those days that the pretty, smiling, giggling toddler went to hide behind a red-faced little stinker.

As I drove 10 minutes across town to get home, which feels like a 30 minute drive when your toddler is balling about food, a popsicle, going potty, being hot, being sleepy... ah hah! The root of the problem. She's tired. Possibly over-tired. That's all it is but in that moment as I gripped my steering wheel, tried to focus on the cars all around me I felt an overwhelming feeling.  

Alone. 

Sometimes, in these moments I feel like the rest of the world is far, far away. In fact, I feel like the closest people are thousands of miles away. If you have ever felt this way remember: you not asking for a shoulder to cry on or just an ear to talk to is what makes these people a thousand miles away. This very thing saved me from an even worse scenario: the kind where your toddler can't calm down and you find it pretty difficult to do so too (a.k.a. a real live nightmare).

Tonight, I was lucky to call on my husband for help. He was on his way to the gym but stopped the car, came back inside to calm me and my over-tired child who barely made it into the house and was now spread out on the floor completely defeated. (I'm really lucky to have him by my side in all things, especially parenting.)

Maybe the person that can help is not your husband or significant other but a neighbor, an aunt or a co-worker. Just ask for help. 

I am a believer in the good of people. Things like the Hurricane Harvey disaster relief that is taking place in Texas, the people who go visit hospital patients, the people who listen. Good is there. You just have to open your eyes and see it. I am lucky to be surrounded by compassionate, trusting, beautiful people. I believe there is someone to listen to each and every one of us.

Remember, just ask. 

PS. There were many hugs and I'm Sorry's to follow the tantrum. My toddler is fast asleep.

Keep loving.

To the Moms of Toddlers

The other night I was walking back to my bedroom for the 10th time in an hour thinking about how my toddler is so tiring. I'm sure my shoulders were slumped and I probably looked like I lost my marbles somewhere along the way. E was trying to relax for the evening but needed a sip of water, to go potty and kept hollering down the hallway, "I'm hungry." "I'm starving," "It's too dark," "Can I have a toy?" I have to hand it to her on the persistence. This girl doesn't give up. I said to R, "I want the other E back." That sweet, quiet, simple pre-toddler girl. I just realized today how awful that sounds. How mean of me, right? My tired legs and brain make me forget there are so many things to be thankful for with this E. The tiredness and lack of patience got the best of me again. So just in case you're feeling defeated and need a pick me up or for next time the demands of raising a toddler get the best of you remember:

When they put their little hands on your face to bring you closer, to whisper secrets in your ear it warms your heart. Doesn't it make you forget all the problems of the world. Remember these moments are gone in seconds and those hands wont be this small forever.

Arguing over mismatches shoes is just not worth ruining 

a trip to Wesco for popcorn and bug juice. 

When they say 'I love you' in that tiny voice it melts your heart. They love you unconditionally and always will.

When they go potty all by themselves. When they have a night without an accident. These are big accomplishments for them but aren't they big accomplishments for you too?

When they sing to the songs on the radio really loud even though they don't know the words it makes you want to dance and tap the steering wheel. Doesn't it make you feel free and relaxed?

You have this little people to shape into a wonderful human being. You have them to thank for making you want to be a better, more patient person. They are shaping you too. 

Remember the next time you count to 3 and they don't move fast enough that maybe they are trying to get you to slow down. 

Remember they are small but they have all the possibilities in the world ahead of them. 

My lack of patience and the things I do and say always catch up to me as I kiss E good bye, for another 8 hour day away from her. I'm not perfect. I continue to try to improve every day. I will use this list as a reminder when a long day gets the best of me and hope all the Moms of toddlers will find it helpful too.

Keep loving.