28 weeks.

I don't want to be pregnant anymore. I want to have this baby. I want my normal body back. So I can bend over without squatting. So I can stretch, get full body massages and sleep on my stomach. So I can work a 6 hour shift without asking for help or favors every time I turn around.

Is it too much to ask?

Okay, maybe it is. Considering the baby inside me is not ready to be born. It seems kind of selfish. But after an 8 day stretch at work my feet, shins, ribs and back are throbbing. I just want this pain to ease.

Are you sitting there thinking: what a wimp? Well, that's okay if you are. Because I'm sitting here thinking I SUCK at being pregnant. How did my mom do this 6 times?? I guess she really really wanted another baby...and another...and another.

I know the outcome is going to be worth it. And my patience are just worn thin from tiredness. But sitting here with a huge belly and swollen feet leaves much to be desired. I just can't wait. I have a lot of changes ahead of me and I am looking too forward to them to wait much longer.

Yes you guessed it...another moment of weakness...if you couldn't tell. I've become a major complainer I realize. I'll be better. I promise.

But, in the mean time (as I work on not complaining) I've got some fun things going. I bought an embroidery ring. Don't worry babe, it was only $2.33 at hobby lobby. I have almost completed my very first attempt at embroidery: Baby E's initials on a receiving blanket. I'm actually surprised at how easily I grabbed up one of the adorable patterned blankies I received at my baby shower and just went for it! And how I nice of a job I did. If I do say so myself.

I've also started looming a chocolate brown pouch-like sack that I intend on using for Baby E's first photos. I'm going tie bright pink ribbon around it and have her little head peaking out of the top. I can't wait. The way I imagine it is super cute but photos of finished product are yet to come.

Well, I have another appointment with my midwife on Monday. This I am looking forward too. These visits always give me peace of mind. I feel much better after talking with her. Due to the fact my appointment has been pushed back a week so the questions are piling up. I'm sure this visit will help my endeavour to stop complaining too!

My husband is cooking up something delicious smelling in the kitchen. I'm off to find out what it is.

Keep loving.

Moment of weakness

I was just looking through all the photos I've taken of my growing belly, right up to the very first photo I took when I was only a couple weeks along. I wanted to cry. Wanted to. But didn't.

I miss my old body. In the photo I was wearing jeans that fit and a tank top I won't even try to squeeze into anymore. People keep saying to me, " You're so tiny for 6 months along." UGH ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I keep thanking God for the man (or woman) that invented yoga pants. Without them I'd be forced to resort to full on sweat pants.

I recently divided my clothes into to 2 piles: fits and does NOT fit.

Another one of my favorites people say, "Well, you are over the hump." YEAH I'M OVER THE HUMP. My baby hump of a bump. Ahhhh!

My midwife was right (when isn't she? Such a smart lady) when she said water is a pregnant woman's best friend. I never really liked taking baths but now I LOVE them. I even have yummy scented bath salts to soak in now. I can't imagine what nights would be like without the steamy water to sooth my ribs and back. I'm thanking the Lord, again for the creators of bath tubs. Amen.

And ugh I could go on and on about how much the baby moves. It's like she's my little alarm clock, reminding me she's in there. As if I could forget with a 23 centimeter long belly prohibiting me from bending over, twisting and sleeping on my stomach. At first she would only move if I ate cookies or chocolate but now she kicks morning, noon and night. I think she was moving before I was this morning. And sometimes she kicks 3 or 4 times in a row and it takes my breathe away. It's a different type of frusterating when you are mid- thought and BUMP! OH! There's baby kicking.

And food: I'm sick of eating the healthiest thing possible. I know my eating habits are making a difference but can't I just have some greasy french fries or fat burrito or chips. Oh how I miss chips. But I strongly believe my eating habits will benefit the baby even after she is born. So, I'll keep eating lots of vitamin rich foods. Even though I'm sick of it.

Can I complain about 1 more thing? I wish my husband would touch me more. How on earth did I ever get annoyed with it before? Oh wait...I didn't. I miss cuddling and kissing and snuggling really close in bed. My arms don't fit all the way around my belly and him. *sad face* I asked him if he doesn't touch me anymore because I'm fat. He says he doesn't want to squish the baby. Which, that's gotta make me happy because I don't want to either. I told him, 3 months to go and I'll be sexy again.

I honestly know that there are worse situations. I am still so excited to be pregnant. And I'm enjoying that the baby is inside me still. Soon enough I'll be making the real mommy sacrifices.
There are definitely 2 sides to every situation. I know I need to be happy the baby kicks because it means she is healthy. I need to appreciate salads and fresh fruit because not everyone can taste juicy strawberries and eating like this is probably saving me from feeling like a HIPPO. I need to appreciate that Ryan is aware of my body and the baby within.

This moment of weakness was brought to you by Momma to be.

Keep loving.

Pregnant and happy.

I've heard about 100 pregnancy stories in this lifetime of mine. The weird cravings, the icky morning sickness, emotions going haywire....and on and on. But, like many things you have to see, or in my case feel, to believe.

I was laughing to myself this morning when I realized 1, wow! the stories are true and 2, it's 11:30 and I'm totally satisfied that I'm still nestled under my big brown comforter.

I am definitely changing.

I've found that I like simple foods. I gravitate towards cold cold foods and hot hot foods. So, lately fruit has been the most amazing thing on the planet. I've naturally been drinking more fluids, but I've gotten picky about the temperature. It can't be too cold. A couple ice cubes is fine. I like...okay, love cereal! That's about the only thing I could manage to eat at the beginning. Soup and mint hot tea are the warm things I've been really enjoying. The mint tea is a miracle on its own. Thanks to a friend at work I found the natural way to settle my stomach. I find it very soothing to have a cup before or after meals. Mmm.

As for smells, I could tell you horror stories. Who knew being pregnant came with a free magnifying smell-o-meter!! (No warrenty included.) One day at work I had to pull my scarf over my face to avoid the stentch of garlic mashed potatoes being prepared in the back. Another day I swear I smelled brownies baking and went on a mission to find the sweet delicious smell. Sadly, I never found it and decided it was my pregnant senses. I really like the scent of fresh, clean pretty things. Anything else has me running to the bathroom.

I can't forget to mention nails and hair really do grow faster! So much for 3 minute showers. And ya know the raise in body temperature is actually kind of nice. Ryan's been cuddling up to me more. :)

My emotions aren't too crazy. Well, atleast I don't think so. Others might have a different opinion, of which I am unaware of and would like to keep it that way too. I felt like I was on a downward slope the first couple weeks. I had a difficult time holding a conversation or even being interested in having one at all. I was sleeping more than I had my eyes open, mostly because that's the only thing that made me feel good. I blame it on feeling so so sick. The only time I felt worse was when I had mono last year.
I think I cried about 3 times. One of which was the cry because your crying type cry. I think I got all the tears out then because I have been feeling a little more happy lately. Welcoming the thought of new life forming inside of me is getting more enjoyable and exciting.

To sum up today: Healthy is happy.

Keep loving.