Safe at home.

It's Monday and surprisingly it was a really good day. Not everything they say about Mondays is true. Work went well and I'm now sitting on my porch while R paints and E runs around with the neighbor kids.

The day wasn't supposed to be this beautiful. We expected low 60s and here it is high 70s at 7PM. Got to love good old Michigan weather. The temperature feels good. There's a storm rolling in and the clouds are moving our way. But for now, I'll sit here and enjoy the laughter of all these kids we're just getting to know. I love that we have neighbor kids.

Tuesday

Work was...well, work and the rest of the day has left me feeling panicked. I felt the need to rush around the house and gather up socks, a shirt and pants E decided she didn't want to wear anymore. My heart beats faster and my chest hurts as I look around at a messy living room and even messier bedroom. Lately I've been feeling like I can't keep up. I don't know why I feel like a panic attach arising in my chest. Maybe it's because I swear the room I just left was clean I turn around and it's not. Or maybe I just need to let it go.

I didn't find time to add to the website design I wanted to work on so badly. By the time I realized what time it was I didn't crochet, draw or play a game with E either. Where did my evening go?

When the day is long and the evening seems even longer I try to remind myself that the tub toys scattered around the tub and 3 washcloths draped over the edge of it are all a sign your kid enjoyed bath time. She's clean too.

I also remind myself that the hair wax, shaving cream, razor and razor cover are signs your husband took the time to shave and cares that he looks professional at his job. (I smile because the little whisker trimmings are no where to be found.)

As I brush my teeth I stare at the pile of laundry and tell myself, "Who cares. Everyone has clean underwear so let it go tonight." Tell yourself that sometime. It feels good. 

As I climb into bed next to a sleepy toddler I am so tired but so thankful too. I did find time to cuddle with my little girl and watched her and daddy be goofy together. That is enough for me today.

As I count my blessing my chest doesn't hurt so bad. I am lucky to be a Mom to her and a wife to R. At the end of the day our beds are warm and were safe in our home, together. 

Keep loving.

Xoxo