I'll take it.

I'm trying to decide if I am changing, if just my perspective is changing or if I am becoming wiser with age. Because ya know, they say that happens.

As of lately, I've come to realize the characteristics and personalities in the people around me. When I met Ryan I saw the best in everyone. That's a good thing, right? Yes. But not if it's the only thing you are seeing. I didn't pay attention or even think about intentions, motives, the truth behind words. I always just assumed everyone was just nice or just mean.

With some help from Ryan and a book or two I began paying closer attention to people's personalities and behaviors. It is kind of enjoyable and it really makes a difference. I benefit a lot from doing so. I feel that I adjust and respond to situations with people a bit easier than before. If I pay close enough attention to ones behavior I know what they are looking for in a conversation and how I should respond to them. I also know what to expect from others and what is expected of me.

But there are downfalls too. Not everyone around me puts two and two together. They don't take time to really get to know a person or build a relationship with others. It leaves me feeling a bit empty and almost frustrated.

I begin to wonder: Am I too critical of people? Do I purposely set myself apart from others? Is a desire to have deeper frienships with people a bad thing?

I'm not perfect by any means and have so much to learn. Writing down these thoughts makes me realize that I do have people in my life that do take the time to build relationships and have taken some of that time to build a relationship with me. I am very thankful for the people who really know me, care about who I am and want to continue getting to know me. I am thankful I can invest my time in individuals that reciprocate the favor.

I have learned a few more things about myself today.

To answer my question yes I believe I am changing (aka growing), which means my perspective is changing as well. And as the days go by I am getting older...and the wiser part is the reward I get for getting old. So, I'll take it.

Keep loving. And learning.