The best thing about seasons is: they change.

I'm sitting here in the sun, soaking up every second of quietness and every bit of warmth I can. The spring has been a trying one, in so many ways. As the sun beats down on my skin, I finally feel like a new season is near.

I've been working through some tough stuff lately. I don't usually share the nitty gritty stuff, but this feels worth sharing. I know I can't be the only person in the world going through change. If you're reading this and going through a season of change maybe you'll find inspiration and hope knowing you're not the only one. 

I recently realized I had a strong 5-year plan but then, like a ton of bricks, I was awakened to the reality that this was too many years ago. Instead of reflecting on goals reached and accomplishments I made in that time, I sunk into a hole of self-ridicule and comparison. Endless days of scrolling through Facebook and Instagram feeling like all these beautiful things are so far out of reach. I ended up in a place that made me unhappy, a place I've been for weeks now.

I stopped liking my job. I stopped appreciating the small stuff. I had little patience for the people I love most. I didn't like the person looking back at me when I looked in the mirror. When I realized that I knew something had to change.

It wasn't until I started down the path of rediscovery did I realize I can write new goals, bigger goals even, and accomplish more things.

The past few weeks I've been digging deep to find what is the root of my problem; why am I not happy? I have so much to be thankful for. I could've listed one million of these things, but it wasn't the list that fixed my problem. It was me. I had to start putting in the time and real effort to get my happiness back.

I've been reading, writing and talking more than I have in a long time. Now I know that these things, coupled with advice and perspective from people I trust will help me get back to being me.

I had an amazing thing happen today. I revisited my past through my blog. I went all the way back to 2011 (Yes, I thanked myself for documenting my journey). I was on a mission to accomplish my dreams of graduating college, getting married and having a baby. I realized I didn't just accomplish my goals. I lived my dreams, plus sum! I lived them.

I had to let all the beautiful memories of my past soak in. Along the journey of living my dreams I've been blessed with so much more. A bonus girl, a loving and trustworthy husband, stronger relationships with my siblings, laughter, strength, growth, new life, friendships I never imagined. This list could easily be one million things too.

I have a new strength in the memories I revisited today and a new appreciation in where I find myself now. I can do this! I can be happy. I can get to the next level. It won't be easy but I'm not giving up.

I am the captain of my ship. The best thing about seasons is they change.

Keep loving.

As always,

Karlee