Crazed Lunatic

It is the end of my second week as an administrative assistant. I can't express what it is like to know that it is the weekend. I'm torn between being overly excited, melting into the floor like Gumbi or running frantically all over the house snatching up misplaced stuff, like a crazed lunatic. Can you tell my brain is on OVERLOAD? I have officially forgotten how to relax.

Some of the things that are bouncing around in my brain...

1. Work. I think about it in the morning and until I close my eyes and then I dream about it too. It is still very new to me and I'm still very excited about having a full time, respectable job. I realize I will settle down and our routine will even out but right now work is on my mind.

2. Chores. Other Moms tell me, "There will always be house work." Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. But there wont be spoons for cereal if I don't do the dishes. There won't be socks for our feet if I don't do the laundry. And these things don't just pick up and do themselves. I think I am borderline OCD when it comes to chores. I have a hard time letting them go undone.

3. The lack of enjoying life. I want to forget about work, the dishes and running out of socks in the middle of the week. I don't want to feel guilty when I sit for more than five minutes. I want to go on a date with my husband...and do other things with him too. I want to smile when E makes a toy box out of the whole living room. It's always get this done, go there, hurry up...

4. Is there such as a thing as over-parenting? I want to spend every second that I am not at work with E. I am so terrified I am not going to live the baby days to the fullest that I can't think of anything else. Why am I so obsessed with my child? 

5. Date night. Wait, what's that? I want to dress fancy (or not, I don't care) and go enjoy dinner with my husband; worry free. I miss the head over heels in love stage. 

6. How do I divide my time and my brain between all these things?

I realize there are bigger problems in the world and I am so lucky to be where I am. This place I am in now; seriously popped out of no where.

I am so ecstatic that I have a job and a beautiful family. I couldn't be more proud to call R my husband. But I haven't even had time to show him. 

Have I lost my mind completely? Have I lost myself? Help.

Keep loving.